Read the book first

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Movie Review

Dark and moody.

I watched the movie last night for the first time. And I am glad I read the book first. Movies that require more than 100 percent attention to connect all the dots are not my favorite. If I had not read the book, there would have been mystery, which is good, but would I understand it in the end?

For instance:

• Malfoy in the Room of Requirement and Harry staring at a blank wall would have confounded me if not for the book.
• The vanishing closets, I suppose, might have made sense in the end. But I'm not convinced.

OK, so only two things come to mind the day after. But it only takes a couple things to distract you into not knowing what is going on. I've never been one to work at figuring out what's going to happen. Just spoon feed me. Movie watching shouldn't be like homework.

That said, I did like some parts for sure.

The Quidditch was good, but why not the final match? Would much rather have seen Ginny and Harry come together in that moment than in the Room of Requirement.

I know the burning of The Burrow was not in the book, but I get it. It was a simple way to show the Death Eaters' terrorism.

The penseive scenes were good. And Slughorn finally giving in to Harry at Hagrid's was a good scene. The Slughorn character was well played.

Hermione's feelings for Ron were much more open in the movie than in the book. But they have to be in a visual medium unless her thoughts are narrated. 

I'm sure there are those who would have preferred Harry in the invisibility cloak during the Dumbledore death scene. But you wouldn't see Harry's face. So I get why the scene was constructed that way.

What did I miss?

• A little more struggle to reach the locket. Seemed too easy.
• As I mentioned above, the last Quidditch match.
• The fighting that happened before Dumbledore was killed.

I have read Chapter 1 of "The Deathly Hallows." That will be my next post.

R.I.P. Dumbledore

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter 27

Dumbledore is dead.

Yes, that took a few hours to sink in. I know people die down the stretch of this story. But Dumbledore? I envisioned an epilogue of Harry and Dumbledore sipping Butterbeers on the veranda at the old folks home for wizards and reminiscing about the old days at Hogwarts and of obliterated Horcruxes.

The shock of Dumbledore's murder should reverberate throughout the magic kingdom. It should kick Scrimgeour into some real action against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. But we shall see. He might try to cover the whole thing up.

My faith in Snape as a good guy has been severed. But what I don't get is why now? Snape could have found a way to eliminate Dumbledore long ago. It doesn't add up. Add it to the list of things to be confused about. But the next time (if there is one) someone works both sides I'm assuming they are with Voldemort. Fool me once ...

If you didn't trust Snape, a tip of the Sorting Hat to you.

What will become of Draco Malfoy? He cleverly used magic to set up the showdown with Dumbledore. But he clearly didn't want to go through with killing Dumbledore, and for that he might die. Perhaps Snape will shield him somehow.

I almost forgot about Harry standing there frozen and unable to help. I guess whatever charm froze him will thaw with Dumbledore's death. Also, as I recall, Dumbledore had the Horcrux locket in his pocket. How will Harry get it and kill a piece of Voldemort's soul?

And does Voldemort feel it when a piece of his soul dies? Or will he be surprised some day to be completely dead (yes, I'm sure he dies in the end)?

How will Harry ever recover the remaining Horcruxes without Dumbledore? Were any instructions left?

What will happen to Hogwarts? Too many possibilities to speculate. One thing is for sure. Snape won't be in class tomorrow.

The closer it seems we get to answers the more questions we get. This is wearing me out, but it's time to look forward and form a battle plan.

The fight has come to your doorstep, Harry. And this ain't Quidditch.

Well, obviously

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter 24

I had a feeling that Myrtle's mysterious bathroom conversations were being had with Draco Malfoy. The poor boy was shaking, crying and in fear for his life.

Now just who would be the sort to threaten a schoolboy's life? Or who might be directing a minion to make such a threat? Got me. 😉

Harry's reliance on the Half-Blood Prince's scribblings finally backfires with a shout of SECTUMSEMPRA! Slughorn would not be proud. For almost killing Malfoy, I have to say Harry got off pretty easy with detention even if it is with a teacher he detests. Sounds like an expelling offense to me. Snape must want to keep Harry around.

Harry finally finds the Room of Requirement when he needs it most. Imagine that. Lots of things hidden in there. Wonder what Malfoy's been looking for in there and for whom is he working? Might the search be related to the topic of Horcruxes? Plausible, but perhaps too obvious.

Sometimes in my determination to see all the signs and be Captain Obvious, I miss clear clues and play the part of Captain Oblivious. But guessing is fun, even when I am way off.

Oh, to miss the championship match of Quidditch. But Harry was apparently a great captain. His team won it anyway and greeted him with a loud celebration. That had to feel good.

Of course it all worked out. So who in the room was surprised that Harry kissed Ginny in the celebration? Not those closest to them, I think. I know I wasn't oblivious to what was brewing.

Hope they had a nice walk.

Love is in the mist

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter 14

Hermione loves that Harry is learning the traits of a young and psychopathic Voldemort. As she says, Harry just might discover some of the Dark Lord's weaknesses. But that's a competition for another day.

We learn in this chapter that competition definitely brings out something in people. Not sure it's always the best. In fact I'm sure it's not.

However, the Quidditch match did bring out the best of the Gryffindor team in its domination of the Slytherins. Nice motivational technique by Harry. Ron, of course, would succumb to the placebo trick. I wouldn't be surprised, though, if Ron's confidence disappears before the next match. It doesn't take much to send Ron into spiraling self-pity. Harry might have to slip the mickey for real next time.

The true competition in this chapter concerns hormones and snogging.

Hermione likes Ron, and Ron likes Hermione. But neither will admit it or do anything about it. This relationship has your typical rom-com plot written all over it. Ron's fling with Lavender Brown will end as quickly as it began. Will Ron and Hermione be snogging in the final scene? Grab the tissues.

While the Ron-Hermione match is no secret to Harry, he suddenly has a big secret. His gut quite literally tells him that he has special feelings for Ginny. He is denying it, of course, and I'm quite sure he will continue to do so for quite some time. Even when he admits it to himself, he won't want anybody to know. Harry has to have a secret to carry around of some kind or else he wouldn't be Harry.

So where does all of this teenage angst lead in the cold, misty air of Hogwarts? Will love potions be slipped into pumpkin juice? Will love spells be cast?

Hagrid, Quidditch, Detention: Just a typical Saturday

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter 11

So N.E.W.T level classes are kinda like grad school. More difficult and the busiest you've ever been. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again.

Yet, you do allow yourself to make time for things you really love. At Hogwarts that means old friends and Quidditch.

Making amends with Hagrid -- even if they didn't do anything wrong -- was obviously important to the dream team. Their cautious, patient approach was wise. When a guy gets upset over a giant spider facing death and has empathy for dumb giant, you must tread lightly. The bigger they are, the harder the emotions are to overcome.

Being Quidditch captain stresses Harry as much as anything else. But he shows the firmness a captain/coach has to show.

For Ron's sake -- and I'm not typically empathetic toward Ron -- I hope he never finds out that Hermione helped him earn his spot on the team. I will give him this: Ron deserves props for being willing to be on the team and face the Slytherin hate. Haters gonna hate, and apparently Ron doesn't care so much anymore.

Of course, that doesn't stop Ron from moping about not being invited to a party that the others don't want to attend. At least he doesn't have to endure detention with Snape sorting rotten flobberworms from good ones.

Ick.

Sirius Dreams

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 31

One of my daughters peeked over my shoulder yesterday to see me reading the chapter titled O.W.L.s. "Hmmm ... O.W.L.s," she said and spelled it. I was reading it as a word like you would an acronym such as NATO or Taser.

So which is it? Do you spell it when you say it or do you say it as the word it spells? A deep question, I know, but I suppose I will have to wait till I can watch the movie to know for sure. Hopefully that will be in about a week.

On to more pressing questions:

• How long before Ron quits retelling his Quidditch heroics?
• How long before Grawp is discovered?
• How did everyone do on their O.W.L.s?
• Will the High Instigator get in trouble for her midnight vigilantism that chased off Hagrid and felled McGonagall?
• Where and when will Hagrid reappear?

The biggest question, of course, is what did Harry really see in his dream after he fell asleep during his final exam?

We know that Voldemort is inflicting the unforgiveable Crucio! curse on Sirius. Nasty old V wants Sirius to give him something. Not sure what it is or if I should know. But it must be crucial. I do think Harry finally saw more because he wasn't trying to fall asleep and his guard was down.

The other question is will Harry tell anyone what he saw? Maybe because Sirius was in trouble he will tell him. But you never can tell with this bunch what they will share and what they will keep to themselves. They live by a code of need-to-know and afraid-to-tell.

Whatever happens, I'm sure such a public display by Harry will produce more questions than you can shake a wand at.

Giant questions

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 30

Some apparently unrelated items find their way into our latest musings about our young heroes.

Harry unwittingly helps Ron by giving his Triwizard winnings to Fred and George to open a joke shop in Diagon Alley. Their conspicuous exit from Hogwarts apparently took pressure off Ron as the Quidditch goalie.

They'll be sorry they weren't there to see little brother lead the Gryffindors to the Cup.

Umbridge and Filch are still doing battle with all of the curses and spells left behind by Fred and George and continued by others. Those two were apparently quite inspirational.

But let's talk about the giant in the room.

I wonder what purpose Grawp serves in the story. I suppose something down the road, but it's hard to imagine what. Maybe just another misstep to get Hagrid in more trouble.

Hagrid's heart, though, is as big as his girth. The way he cares for creatures that no one else does is admirable. Though he sure doesn't care much for centaurs.

I suppose all of this is somehow helping to lead us to the book's climax. At some point I expect Umbridge to be gone. We will learn more about Harry's dreams. And we'll see if Harry's claims of the return of Voldemort will be believed outside of the Order. It might take a conspicuous act by Voldemort for that to happen.

Only eight more chapters to go.

Where's the justice?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 19

Been gone 13 months
Just had to rest for a spell
The magic is back

The lesson for today, class, is that actions have consequences, but you can say whatever you please.

Belittle a fellow student with stupid little crowns on your chest. Embarrass him with a stupid song from the Quidditch stands. Hurl insults only a Malfoy could appreciate.

And the faculty is deaf the whole time?

Come on people. It's time to hold Slytherins accountable for their forked tongues. Or are y'all just afraid of Snape?

Not that I'm condoning violence, but no wonder Harry and George had to impress their feelings about the situation on Malfoy's spineless frame.

I support some level of punishment to fit the crime, but the lifetime ban Dolores handed down is as oversized as her fake smile. It's not like they're taking steroids.

This is just more support for the coup that must take place before Dolores turns Hogwarts into a daycare.

The rebellion grows

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 18

This is a long book, so I hope all of this stuff about Quidditch and Harry's infatuation with Cho is leading us somewhere. Otherwise, can we cut to the chase?

Geez, I'm starting to sound as whiny as Ron. Anybody know an anti-whining charm? Wave your wand in my general direction if you do.

I guess I should've learned a long time ago that these side stories usually add up to something later. Dobby showed up again and provided a place for the clandestine class to operate. So thumbs-up to Dobby.

Little Ginny Weasley is beginning to show herself as a clever one. She came up with the name Dumbledore's Army, a stroke of genius. And she was doing well with the disarming charm. She might have a real future in the D.A.

Maybe she's been watching and learning from Harry's cleverness, which was again proved by the reminder that he beats Voldemort - not with some incredible spell - but with simple things like a disarming charm. Zacharias Smith didn't see it coming any better than V did. He's looking for a silver bullet that will vanquish Voldemort. The answer lies in lots of knowledge, common sense and resourcefulness that you can use to adapt to any situation. Voldemort wants to be grandiose, so use that against him with simple things. He doesn't see those things coming. Attack when he expects you to run, and his anger will handicap him.

If Harry's students apply themselves in this class, the Army will grow in strength.

You don't know how pleased I was to see the Marauder's Map back in use. For Harry, he should carry that with him like I carry my wallet, keys and cellphone. It is one of his greatest resources, and my favorite prop.

Getting a little fired up

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 17

Umbridge up to no good
She's a sneaky one that Dolores
How to make her stop

Has Dumbledore been locked in the dungeon? Where is he? A vanishing spell gone awry?

His students need him. Dolores is more than a spy for Fudge - she is staging a coup.

When she dissolved all extra-curriculars, I actually felt a twinge of anger. My emotional detachment to the story might be weakening. Make out of that statement whatever you want.

I think the Gryffs will get their Quidditch team back, but she wants them to sweat. She wants to show them who is in charge. As the High Instigator, she is off to a good start at stirring the cauldron.

Now the end of the chapter where she shows up in the Floo Network (aren't you impressed that I remember what it's called), was surprising. Is she reading the mail and maiming owls? Did she buy extendable ears from Fred and George? However she knew to find Sirius there proves she is quite dangerous to the cause.

The Mad Identity

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 11

So who was sneaking around old Mad-Eye Moody's yard? There are lots of suspects, but I won't speculate.

Mad-Eye might be the most colorful name yet. He could be a pirate or a pro wrestler or a hitman. With a name like that he has to play a central part to our developing story.

Is it just me or is there more interaction with muggles in this book. We always have the Dursleys, of course, but we had the theatrics at the campground and now we have these poor taxi drivers. I'm positive that veteran taxi drivers figure they've seen it all, but these guys have story to top the others in the garage.

I see Malfoy hasn't changed over the summer. Harry needs to ask Malfoy: "What have you ever won?" Some say it ain't bragging if you can't back it up (not a theory I subscribe to), but Malfoy has nothing to point to that he's ever done on his own. Where would he be without daddy and his sidekick goons?

So what's Malfoy's big secret? Keep reading.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 12

I'm sorry, but I have a soft spot for Peeves. He has great comedic timing and knows just how to rile everybody. When everybody's wet, make 'em wetter.

What? No Quidditch? I can't say I'm sorry about that. It can get a bit old at times. But now we have the Triwizard Tournament. At first I thought it was a competition for three-legged magic students.

I'm not sure this decision will be good for morale. It's already fixing to get Fred and George Weasley into trouble. I can just hear their mother: "You should be doing better on your O.W.L.'s."

Ah, old Mad-Eye is a teacher. I'm sure Snape and the Malfoys will think this is a terrible idea, but who better to prepare Harry to do battle with Voldemort? I look forward to seeing if Mad-Eye has mad skills.

What will become of Hermione's crusade for house-elf rights? Guess she has to have something else to keep her busy this year because she won't be time-traveling to take extra classes.

And Harry definitely has his first crush. Ain't that sweet.

Irish eyes are smiling

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 8

"You are looking live at the site of this year's Quidditch World Cup."

Yes, the only thing missing from this event was Brent Musburger welcoming us to the scene. Ah, college football season is only a few weeks away. But for now we'll have to be content with Quidditch.

I have often been asked who I am rooting for while watching a football game. If the Buckeyes aren't playing, I usually don't care. I just want to see a good game. Likewise, I didn't care if Ireland or Bulgaria won. Though, I was nearly drawn to Bulgaria because it had the more interesting names. They all sound as if they could be Big Ten linemen.

The sportswriter in me would have enjoyed covering this for the Daily Prophet. From the antics of the veela and leprechauns (always after me Lucky Charms) to the large crowd, Krum's busted nose and the shocking finish, there would have been plenty to write about.

With DVR technology, something like omnioculars might not be too far off.

Well, three cheers for Ireland. Now let's get on with this Goblet of Fire thing.

I'll sleep outside

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 7

The poor Muggle running the campground must have thought there was a Woodstock reunion going on. It will be for his own good that his memories will be obliviated.

So these are tents on the outside and whatever you can imagine or afford on the inside. These magical people are so clever. However, I won't be staying with the Weasleys. The smell of cats would put me out under the stars. It's not just the smell, but the accompanying itchy eyes, sneezing and labored breathing that for me accompany the presence - present or past - of cats. Somebody pass the Benadryl.

The joy Percy's siblings must have felt when Crouch called their self-important brother Weatherby must have made the trip worth it already. That's a story that will be retold more often than whatever happens the next at Quidditch final.

The magical folk don't live like the Muggles in many ways, but it becomes more and more obvious that it is a competitive world. We've seen it with Snape, the Malfoys, Voldemort and now in the conversation between Bagman and Crouch. Arthur Weasley is one of the few to be content to do his job and not make a big deal about it. A bagful of galleons doesn't buy happiness, and Arthur has that figured out.

Again I say, let the games begin.

Travelogue

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 5

Well, it's certainly taken longer for me to get back to reading, writing and arithmancy than it took for Harry to get to the Burrow.

Fred and George, however, waste no time getting in trouble. Their mother is quite right. All of their intelligence, ingenuity and ambition could certainly be put to greater use. Maybe they will by the end of the final book, but in the meantime we can just enjoy their mischief.

Sir Percy continues to be high strung. We can only hope Mr. Crouch appreciates all of his hard work on cauldron bottoms.

Meanwhile, I hope, for Percy's sake, he didn't leave the dragon dung in his to-do tray.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 6

After 2,500 miles and about 50 hours in a minivan, I wish I had known about this Apparating business. Where do I sign up for this class?

I wonder if Fred and George have developed anything that will send the top half of their brothers to the Quidditch World Cup and their bottom halves to the Starship Enterprise. Scotty will wonder what happened.

The description of the Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys trudging up Stoatshead Hill put a picture in my mind of the Von Trapps hiking to Switzerland. You know, Climb Every Mountain and all that sort of thing.

From the description, the boot doesn't sound like one of anybody's favorite things, but it got the job done. And I'll bet it was a more pleasant ride than what you get with floo powder.

Let the games begin.

Can we leave yet?

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 3

Maybe I shouldn't be in such a hurry to create the "Anti-Dursley Household League." They do provide comic relief. Now that Dudley looks more like a Weeble than ever before (except that if he does wobble, he will fall down), a letter has been sent home.

A shape-up or ship-out letter is just what he needs, but I do have a hint of sympathy for him. His diet, while healthy, sounds perfectly boring.

Life on Privet Drive is getting better for Harry. Other than Dudley's troubles, he gets permission to join the Weasley's for the Quidditch World Cup. Of course, he had to play the Sirius card, but he got permission nonetheless.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Chapter 4

It is doubtless that Vernon will ever again utter the phrase "Better late than never." He certainly would have preferred just about anything to the entrance the Weasleys made into his living room to pick up Harry. Then again, there is no pleasing this muggle.

But imagine for a moment that someone other than Santa Claus shows up in your chimney. And he's brought a bunch of red-headed elves with him. Two of whom are practical jokers who accidentally spill candy, which your son eats. The candy does strange things to his tongue and thoroughly freaks everybody out.

I'm not going over to the Dursley Side, I'm just saying ...

Triumph and tragedy

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 15

So the end is near for Buckbeak. Is there no justice for framed hippogriffs? More on this later.

Hermione is obviously ready for summer vacation. I don't condone violence, but I sure hope her face-slapping of Malfoy is in the movie. Next time she should wave her wand in his general direction and say something like, "Off with your tongue!"

Next, she forgets to go to Charms class, then walks out of Divination. Somebody buy her an ice cream cone. That's always the best chill pill.

Not sure what seeing Crookshanks and a big hairy dog is all about for Harry, but I've been keeping a watchful eye on that cat since it entered the story. You can't be too careful with cats.

And you can't be too careful when playing Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup. No surprise they chose dirty tactics over relying on skill. It was like they put all the goons on the ice at once. But fair play and talent won out.

When Malfoy grabbed Harry's broom I decided that Malfoy and Dudley must have been separated at birth.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 16

Finals week is always a mix of anxiety and anticipation. And if your name is Harry Potter there is always the unexpected.

When Trelawney is channeling Voldemort - knowingly or not - questions are raised. Why is he telling Harry? And what is Black breaking free from? Is he trapped inside Hogwarts somewhere? Has it been not that he can't get in past the dementors, but that he can't get past them to get out?

More likely, it's something I haven't thought of, but it's fun to speculate.

Two things we don't have to speculate on anymore is what happened to Scabbers and will Hagrid win the appeal for Buckbeak?

Scabbers lives - and by the way he was acting there seems to be some purpose to his disappearance - and Beaky dies. Chalk one up for the Malfoys. It's unclear why they cared, but I don't think they need a reason to be mean.

Preparing for more trouble

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 11

We open with Harry feeling sad about never knowing his parents and angry about Sirius Black's betrayal. And you do get the same feeling like Hermione has that Harry - emboldened by his heroism in the first two books - wants to go looking for Black. Her book sense and common sense are coming together as she warns Harry not to play dog catcher.

Harry does get distracted a bit by Hagrid's wailing about the possible fate of Buckbeak. With the Malfoys rearing their ugly heads in conspiracy against Hagrid, our precocious detectives become lawyers as they dig through dusty books looking for precedent. With all the dust, that library would be no place for me. I would have a perpetually stuffy head, always feeling like I had just gotten out of bed in the morning.

Christmas morning is often full of surprises, but a Firebolt sure beats all. It would be like finding a Porsche in the driveway. Of course, Crookshanks ruins the party with another assassination attempt on Scabbers.

There are many things to appreciate about Dumbledore, but his appreciation of a good feast is high on the list. Of all the places I would want to see and experience at Hogwarts, it would be a feast in the Great Hall.

At least Harry got a good meal before the news that comes at the end of the chapter: The Firebolt is confiscated. It's for his own good, but nonetheless a bad ending to the day.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 12

Professor Lupin has turned out to be quite the friend and mentor to Harry. I hope he doesn't become a betrayer. At least he's not completely incompetent like his predecessor.

This boggart-dementor-Patronus thing that Harry is working on sounds quite exhausting. Finding a happy memory is not easy for Harry, and it seems like it takes an happy memory of lasting importance to make this work, not merely a pleasant and fleeting one.

So will a Dementor's Kiss end this business with Sirius Black? Will the Firebolt, now that we know it's clean of jinxes, lead Gryffindor to the elusive Quidditch Cup? And has Scabbers finally succumbed to the clutches of Crookshanks? Can't wait to find out.

Is any place safe?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 8

The chapter opens with Malfoy's critique of Lupin's fashion sense, and if we hadn't figured it out yet, we see Malfoy's upside-down view of people. It's a view he no doubt learned from his arrogant father. But enough about Malfoy. He's hardly worth the breath.

Speaking of irritants, what about this Crookshanks creature. I'm not sure why anyone would want a good-for-nothing rat, but I'm with Ron on this one. Twice Ron calls it "that cat." I understand the sentiment. When Hermione defends the cat attack by saying, "Crookshanks doesn't understand it's wrong!" she displays a naive notion for the first time since she thought Lockhart knew what he was doing. That cat knows it's wrong. I know these things. I can't talk with them like Harry talks with snakes, but you can see it in their eyes and by the way they swish their tail. They know all right.

OK, OK, enough about cats.

The real question in this chapter is what became of the Fat Lady. It's never over till she sings, so she must be somewhere.

Is Peeves telling the truth about Sirius Black? He doesn't seem above lying, but I'm sure if he had news like this he would delight in telling Dumbledore.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Chapter 9

The subject of werewolves keeps coming up. Harry saw something dog-like just before the Knight Bus arrived. He saw something like it in the stands just before falling off his broom.

Astronomers know Sirius as the Dog Star in the constellation Canis Major. It is the brightest star in the heavens. Not sure if that relates at all, but names can mean things.

So poor Wood suffers a Quidditch loss, poor Harry ends up in the infirmary again and Harry's Nimbus 2000 is reduced to firewood.

The questions are mounting and adding to the confusion. Where is Sirius Black? Is Harry seeing a werewolf? What role does Lupin play?

And how soon before Crookshanks catches up to Scabbers?

Pass the Polyjuice

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Chapter 8

Trying to buy a championship - as Malfoy's daddy is trying to do with state-of-the-art brooms that have bought his boy a spot on the team - doesn't often work. But the Gryffindors had better buy into Wood's plan to outwork Slytherin - even if Wood is exercising a Patton complex - or they will be swept to the proverbial Quidditch curb.

But there are much more serious and sinister things going on in the hallways of Hogwarts. (BTW, say Hogwarts to yourself over and over and see how funny it begins to sound.) Harry is hearing a voice, and I don't think it's a ghost because they are all partying with Nearly Headless Nick. After seeing the first movie, I hear John Cleese's voice every time he speaks.

Now that the Chamber of Secrets has been revealed and something about an heir, it will be time again for our detective trio to figure out how to save somebody or something.

And I hope I don't have nightmares about Mrs. Norris or any other cat hanging from anywhere. If I had seen that, it would have time to fetch the smelling salts.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Chapter 9

So is the legend of the chamber fact or fiction? Well, obviously it's fiction, but you know what I mean. Binns is kind enough to enlighten us about the legend, and he certainly didn't convince Harry and company that it is just a legend.

When you hear things like Harry has, you're going to think it's true. So it probably is, unless we're in the middle of a Scooby-Doo episode and at the end of the book they remove Filch's mask to find Dumbledore and he says, "And I would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling kids."

But I don't think that will happen. I do hope the Polyjuice attempt works. Sounds like fun, especially if it's Lockhart they try to trick. A little bit of flattery should go a long way.

Gilderoy the Great

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Chapter 6

I'm sure Gilderoy Lockhart would be tickled to know an entire chapter was named in his honor.

But before we deal with GilLo, lets deal with the Howler and the Mandrakes. The Howler gets the point across to Ron, but I would urge all parents not to embarrass your child in this way. And those of you that garden, I would leave the Mandrakes to someone else.

As for GilLo, it will be interesting to see how his story progresses. He certainly didn't seem to know what he was doing when he let the pixies loose. I can see Ron and Hermione arguing endlessly about this.

GilLo is as full of himself as ... I can't really think of anyone to compare him to. He has set a new standard for self-promotion. And the things he assumes and says to Harry are ridiculous. When he said Harry was a tad big-headed, I LOLed. Oh well, GilLo does provide comic relief, and they could sure use a touch of that at Hogwarts this school year. Everybody is so tense.

By the way, I hear GilLo will be signing the first page of his chapter at Flourish and Blotts on all the big book-shopping days from here to eternity.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Chapter 7

Like I said, everybody is so tense.

• Wood is obsessed beyond reason with the pursuit of the Quidditch crown.
• Colin and GilLo are driving Harry batty.
• Ron wants to slug Malfoy (no pun intended).
• We haven't seen Snape in a while, but surely he's mad at someone.

Not sure what the significance of the voice is that Harry heard. Seems strange that GilLo didn't hear it. GilLo is quite a character, but he's obviously hiding something. And isn't it odd that someone of his fame wants to spend so much time with Harry. There's something going on here, because under normal circumstances GilLo would be perfectly happy spending time alone with his favorite person - himself.