Spies Like Us

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 12

So Kreacher has become a good guy to have around. A pleasant surprise for everyone.

Death Eaters are loitering in the square. Don't they know they're supposed to sit in a paneled van with lettering on the side proclaiming them to be a plumber, a delivery service or something equally unsuspecting, looking at monitors, wearing headphones and eating fast food. They could at least wear Muggle clothing to blend in.

Harry, Hermione and Ron have much better spy craft. Sneaking in and out day after day to do recon on the Ministry of Magic under the noses of Death Eaters would not please Voldemort. Their next job will be checking employee badges at the Ministry entrance if he finds out.

They've also chosen rather ordinary Ministry workers to use to get inside. More good spy craft.

Presumably the next chapter will reveal just how good our young spies are. They've just come face to face with Umbridge. That could be tricky.

Somehow they have to get into her office and find the locket. At least that's where it looks like this mission is headed. Fooling everyone has gotten them this far. They are going to have to keep outsmarting the unsuspecting Ministry. I can't imagine they could overpower or outmagic them to get out with the goods.

Of course, getting the locket is only half the battle. Destroying the horcrux in it might be the real challenge.

Another complication

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 11

The Lupin thing was weird. Agree?

Harry, it seems, didn't want Lupin to be in any more danger. He already didn't want his BFFs along for the same reason. But they were harder to tell no. Make Lupin mad enough to leave. That was the strategy. But it was quite uncomfortable for everyone.

Too bad about Scrimgeour if the story is true about protecting Harry. I take back calling him Schemegeour if it's true.

Voldemort is connivingly brilliant with his puppet leadership and his propaganda and silent takeovers. There is fear throughout the land, and that only adds to his power to control. Wait. That's why Lupin came. Wouldn't get that news without someone showing up at 12 Grimmauld Place.

Back to Voldemort. There's this Harry Potter fella he knows is a problem and gives people hope. His failure to deal with Harry is consuming him. Usually that creates blindspots and leads to an overconfident downfall. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

What matters at the moment is that the locket with the horcrux has fallen into the hands of Umbridge, the High Instigator. Whose side is she on? With plot twists and surprises what they are, I won't attempt to guess. I'm keeping an open mind.

Right now Harry is convinced that destroying the horcruxes is the key to victory. But there are a lot of chapters left and lots of things we don't know yet. I would quit trying to figure it out, but what would I write about otherwise?

I'll keep blindly forging ahead much like Harry, Ron and Hermione are. No Lumos charm will help. Whatever class you learn that in at Hogwarts, I wasn't paying attention.

What's it all mean?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 7

Dumbledore never did anything on a lark. His actions had purpose. No doubt these odd objects he bequeathed to Harry, Ron and Hermione will come in handy some day. And it won't be until they need them that they will understand the purpose.

That's my prediction anyway.

Schemegour sure knows how to crash a party.

"May I see your invitation?" I would've said.

"Do you know who I am?" Schemegour would've said in his most offended voice possible.

"Yes," I would've gladly admitted. "That's why I'm asking."

The matter of the sword of Godric Gryffindor is interesting. Harry, I'm guessing, will get his hands on it at some point.

Quite the back and forth between Harry and Schemegour about the sword. When Harry fires back about the minister earning some respect, well, that was exciting. Then Harry tells the minister he doesn't like his methods. The gloves are off.

This guy should to go back to the ministry and hang out with Umbridge. Schemegour and the High Instigator ought to just do a puzzle or something and stay out of everyone else's business. Hope they fight over who gets to place the last piece.

I don't recall any gifts I received on my 17th birthday. That was 1981. It was a Friday, so I probably played in a basketball game that night. The next night, if there wasn't a game, we probably went out to eat.

I certainly didn't open a Deluminator, The Tales of Beedle the Bard or an old Snitch. Can't say I feel cheated. For now, they can make it dark, try to figure out what "I open at the close" means that was written on the Snitch and catch up on some missed childhood reading.

Lights out. There's a wedding tomorrow.

Old Snape has a new job

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: Chapter 8

In the interest of not burying the lead (newspaper lingo), Snape will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Is it too late to register? I hope there's not a waitlist.

Take it this year if you want Snape, because hanging on to this job is as impossible as trying to cast a spell without a wand. Let's review previous DADA professors:

• Sorcerer's Stone, Professor Quirrell: That guy was so two-faced.
• Chamber of Secrets, Gilderoy Lockhart: GilLo is still giving out autographs.
• Prisoner of Azkaban, Remus Lupin: Dude was a werewolf.
• Goblet of Fire, Mad-Eye Moody/Barty Crouch Jr.: This was a train wreck in so many ways.
• Order of the Phoenix, Dolores Umbridge: The High Instigator. Enough said.

This was certainly big and surprising news at the year-opening feast. If they all only knew about Snape's meeting a few chapters back with Death Eaters. But as you know from Chapter 2 I think Snape is on the Dumbledore side of magic.

Harry, however, will dread every time he walks into Snape's classroom. If Snape becomes a hero or martyr for the good guys, will Harry's opinion change? Of course, if Snape is a truly dark dude, Harry won't be surprised. He might even feel vindicated.

In the continuing trend of open communication lines, Harry tells Ron what happened to him in the Slytherin car. And Ron again has an adult conversation. As much as things stay the same -- escape from the Dursleys, catching the train to school, Harry finding trouble, Malfoy being Malfoy -- the more they change.

Off to war

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 38

The news, or at least the Daily Prophet's interpretation of such, is out.

Harry and Dumbledore have their good names back and their standings in magical society have been restored. And all are healed or healing from their run-in with the Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort.

And Umbridge is gone. (Can I get an Amen.)

But not all is right with Harry. He continues to mourn Sirius. I don't think this is a loss he will ever fully resolve his guilt over. It will haunt him, but not in the way he was hoping. Sirius will not be a ghost roaming the halls of Grimmauld Place. He is gone.

But just when we're at our lowest, that's when friends pick us up. A book full of angst, hard truths and loss had a happy ending when the Order told the Dursley's to treat Harry well or else. I'm pretty sure Uncle Vernon doesn't want to find out what or else means. But his temper could cost him one day this summer.

So this is the end of the book. The stage is set for a second war against Voldemort's desire to reign over the magical world. I'm confident the good guys will win but not before suffering more casualties. I have a million questions. Who lives and who dies? What is Snape's role? What character(s) will play a bigger role than expected? I just hope it doesn't come down to the fate of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. That would be disappointing.

It will be a grim undertaking this vanquishing of Voldemort. I am eager to see how it ends. But school is about to start again for me, so the final two books will probably have to wait until summer.

See you then.

Another Harry situation

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 36

Another action-packed chapter for us to digest and consider the outcomes.

We know Dumbledore can stand toe-to-toe with Voldemort.

We know how utterly scared Voldemort's minions are of him.

We know Harry is this nemesis of Voldemort's that he just can't conquer.

And we know Voldemort is positively angry over what transpired at the Ministry of Magic.

• He didn't get the prophecy.
• He knows the opposition is committed to his demise.
• And he knows his return is no longer a secret.

What's a mean, old, Grinch-of-a-wizard to do?

Retreat, regroup and adjust to the new reality. The full force of the Ministry will be against him. Hopefully his spies will all be rooted out and sent to Azkaban or into hiding.

For the Order, they will mourn Sirius, wonder about the prophecy and also adjust to the new reality. At least Dumbledore, Harry, the Order and the DA will have Hogwarts as a safehouse.

And while Fudge still has the title, it's clear Dumbledore is in charge of the good guys. And Umbridge will get stuck behind a desk somewhere out of the way. It was a pretty good day when you think about it.

Jarring turn of events

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 34

I don't know about the rest of you, but flying horses sounds like a fun way to fly. Half airplane, half roller coaster and full-on thrill ride. They should create a ride based on it at one of the Harry Potter theme parks at Universal Studios in Orlando. Half merry-go-round, half roller coaster high above the park and only after dark.

But hunting around in the creepy Department of Mysteries I will leave to our fictional characters. So back to them and the quest to find Sirius.

Oops, no Sirius. What a letdown for Harry and for us. All this excitement of getting away from Umbridge and riding the skies for nothing? Maybe not.

What is this jar that Ron has found with the Harry's name on it and the words Dark Lord? And why a question mark?

And who is this person who has sneaked up behind them and asked for the jar? The person called him Potter, which all of the unfriendly adults and some professors do throughout the books. That's as far as I will guess. It took all my strength not to peek ahead to the next page and see who it was.

But I will now and report back soon.

Busting out

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 33

Does this mean The Dunderheaded Secretary and High Instigator is out of the story? Has she been carried off to Centaur-land forever? We can only hope. Although, I do enjoy musing about her.

Props to Hermione for leading Umbridge into the forest. My first thought was that she was headed to Grawp. I was kind of half right because his appearance allowed them to break free. Now it's time to fly to the Department of Mysteries and save Sirius.

That is the next question. Can this top-ranking platoon of the DA save Padfoot from Voldemort? I have no idea. I've heard some characters begin to die. Is this the beginning of that? Or does Sirius survive?

I do suggest getting out of the forest and staying out. The Centaurs (I'm even afraid to call them half-breeds) would not be happy to see them.

So from here, it's save Sirius, reassemble the Order and, I suppose, find a way to convince the Ministry that Voldemort is alive. I'm guessing at some point that will happen and all magical people not aligned with Voldemort will live in fear again.

Enjoy the flight.

Busted

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 32

If I hadn't been taking such long breaks in my reading, I would have known better what to expect in this chapter. Historically, when Harry sees through what passes for Voldemort's eyes he is seeing it in real time. It's like live-streaming video on the web. It's not a vision of past or future. It's now.

So I should have guessed that Harry would be hot to go rescue Sirius with or without a plan.

As Harry and his crew were making plans to get into the High Instigator's office, I thought of the difference between his world and the real world. Outside the magical world there would be surveillance cameras. And a lesser character in our story would be a skilled hacker, fake out the cameras and they would break into the office unnoticed. Or Harry could just use a burner phone and call Sirius. But spells and floo powder and fireplaces are more magical. At least we find out that Sirius has indeed left the safehouse.

Alas, the old bat fooled even me with her spells and caught them in the act. And she gets more psycho by the chapter. Admitting to sending dementors after Harry and ready to Crucio! him, is, I'm quite sure, beyond normal disciplinary measures in the Ministry's or Hogwarts' student handbooks.

In the midst of this terrifying situation, Hermione thinks quickly on her feet. Is she stalling or does she have a real plan related to this story about Dumbledore's secret weapon? She told Umbridge what Umbridge wanted to hear.

So off we go into the final chapters. Fire up your Firebolt and come along for the ride.

Sirius Dreams

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 31

One of my daughters peeked over my shoulder yesterday to see me reading the chapter titled O.W.L.s. "Hmmm ... O.W.L.s," she said and spelled it. I was reading it as a word like you would an acronym such as NATO or Taser.

So which is it? Do you spell it when you say it or do you say it as the word it spells? A deep question, I know, but I suppose I will have to wait till I can watch the movie to know for sure. Hopefully that will be in about a week.

On to more pressing questions:

• How long before Ron quits retelling his Quidditch heroics?
• How long before Grawp is discovered?
• How did everyone do on their O.W.L.s?
• Will the High Instigator get in trouble for her midnight vigilantism that chased off Hagrid and felled McGonagall?
• Where and when will Hagrid reappear?

The biggest question, of course, is what did Harry really see in his dream after he fell asleep during his final exam?

We know that Voldemort is inflicting the unforgiveable Crucio! curse on Sirius. Nasty old V wants Sirius to give him something. Not sure what it is or if I should know. But it must be crucial. I do think Harry finally saw more because he wasn't trying to fall asleep and his guard was down.

The other question is will Harry tell anyone what he saw? Maybe because Sirius was in trouble he will tell him. But you never can tell with this bunch what they will share and what they will keep to themselves. They live by a code of need-to-know and afraid-to-tell.

Whatever happens, I'm sure such a public display by Harry will produce more questions than you can shake a wand at.

Giant questions

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 30

Some apparently unrelated items find their way into our latest musings about our young heroes.

Harry unwittingly helps Ron by giving his Triwizard winnings to Fred and George to open a joke shop in Diagon Alley. Their conspicuous exit from Hogwarts apparently took pressure off Ron as the Quidditch goalie.

They'll be sorry they weren't there to see little brother lead the Gryffindors to the Cup.

Umbridge and Filch are still doing battle with all of the curses and spells left behind by Fred and George and continued by others. Those two were apparently quite inspirational.

But let's talk about the giant in the room.

I wonder what purpose Grawp serves in the story. I suppose something down the road, but it's hard to imagine what. Maybe just another misstep to get Hagrid in more trouble.

Hagrid's heart, though, is as big as his girth. The way he cares for creatures that no one else does is admirable. Though he sure doesn't care much for centaurs.

I suppose all of this is somehow helping to lead us to the book's climax. At some point I expect Umbridge to be gone. We will learn more about Harry's dreams. And we'll see if Harry's claims of the return of Voldemort will be believed outside of the Order. It might take a conspicuous act by Voldemort for that to happen.

Only eight more chapters to go.

In the words of George ...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 29

If I had the displeasure of introducing Dolores Umbridge to a crowd, it might go something like this:

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dolores Umbridge, the most hated headmistress in the history of Hogwarts.

Or, Dolores Umbridge, the wicked witch of the Ministry of the Magic.

But I think I would most like to introduce her in the words of George Weasley: Dolores Umbridge, the old bat.

Yes, that would give me pleasure.

As readers we, of course, side with Harry and all his friends. And we root against their opposition. And Dolores is definitely the opposition. I hope Harry gets to be an auror, especially after her display in the career counseling session. Talk about your micro-managers. Oh, and good for McGonagall standing up to the boss.

Harry's talk with Sirius and Lupin should calm him down about his dad. Their insistence on resuming his Occlumency lessons was revealing. Everyone believes this is serious business, but they won't tell Harry exactly why. Tell the boy already. Don't you know by now that this approach doesn't work with Harry. He will just go off in another direction if he doesn't understand why.

And then there's Snape. He needs to grow up and forget the past. Move on. Let it go. And just take one for the Order.

Time to be close-minded, I think

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 28

Didn't take long for the High Instigator to become the Headmistress. We have as many educational decrees as we have chapters in this book. Time to order a new ream of parchment and another batch of quills.

And while it's illegal for students to form the DA, it's OK for Her Majesty to form the Inquisitorial Squad, which is just a fancy name for tattletales. Fortunately, Fred and George are roaming the castle spreading their special brand of mayhem. They are quite clever, and now that they don't care if they get in trouble ... a distinct advantage for the good guys.

What a terrible and obvious interrogator the inquisitor/instigator is. Could she have been more obvious with the tea, no doubt laced with some sort of truth serum, and her impatient and direct questions. Seems old Mad-Eye's influence on Harry had some purpose. I think Fudge will one day regret sending Umbridge to Hogwarts. She is devious but ultimately not smart enough for those of the Order.

Not sure what to make of Harry's trip into Snape's Pensieve. We already knew that Snape didn't like Harry and that James Potter had something to do with it. Now we know why. It served to get Harry out of Occlumency lessons. Will that be good or bad? No doubt Harry's dreams and the Voldemort factor in them will continue. Is that good or bad?

As Dumbledore left at the end of the previous chapter he warned Harry to close his mind. "You will understand," were his last words to Harry.

Dumbledore is probably right. He always is.

The Office (Season 10, Episode 1): The SNEAK

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 27

I suppose the Firenze-Hagrid business will be revealed and be of some consequence, but let's move on to the more sensational happenings of the gotcha crew and Harry in Dumbledore's office.

Memo to Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic aka Counselor of Corruption, and Dolores Jane Umbridge, High Inquisitor aka High Instigator and soon to be, I'm sure, Headmaster of Hogwarts:

You got played.

Dumbledore outwits you at every step. He's got stealth skills, defense-attorney skills, make-things-go-poof skills and flair skills.

You probably think you won by pushing Dumbledore out of the Headmaster's lair. But Dumbledore is like a great coach. He doesn't wait to till halftime to make all of his adjustments, he makes them at timeouts when he needs them, not when it's too late. He's been two steps ahead of you from the beginning.

He's got vision. You're wearing blinders.

He's got an army of believers in the cause. You've got minions only believing in avoiding your wrath.

Really, it's not a fair fight. But keep trying with your educational decrees, your traps, your overconfidence and your corruption.

Your reign has the shelf life of a tomato. Sooner or later it will rot.

Signed: A Muggle Meddling in Magic

Sneakin', freakin' and odd

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 21


In the forest they sneak
Under the mistletoe freak
In his dreams it's bleak

Hagrid's mysterious walk into the woods in search of an elusive creature reminded me of one of my favorite TV shows. Then his shrieking cry cinched it. It was like watching an episode of "Finding Bigfoot" on Animal Planet. Yes, my DVR is set to record every new episode, but don't judge me. I love the mystery.

The Bigfoot researchers are always sneaking into the woods and night and making these loud calls. Sometimes they get a reply, presumably from a Bigfoot. And if you've watched it, Bobo is the show's Hagrid. Actually, Hagrid would make a great Bigfooter. He's actually bigger than Bigfoots are. I bet he could find one.

Of course, the High Instigator shows up and makes more wild assumptions. Somebody needs to feed her that clipboard. I'm sure her fake smile is wide enough to accommodate.

Then it's off to spells practice for the D.A., and the awkward moment of the year between Cho and Harry. So high school.

The end of the chapter, however, reveals an odd occurence. Apparently, Voldemort's pet snake has attacked Mr. Weasley somewhere. Hope the chap is all right for his sake and for the sake of the Order of the Phoenix. It's good to have someone working inside the ministry, and Voldemort, of course, doesn't want anyone in the Order to see what he's doing there.

McGonagall has the sense to know Harry's not just dreaming. Umbridge, of course, would feign a different view, but thankfully she's off dreaming up ways to make everyone's life miserable.

That's the one thing she's good at.

Giants, footprints and Dolores, oh my

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 20

Ol' Hagrid can' help but tell his story, and thats wha' we love abou' him. The deep secrets he thinks have been entrusted to him only last until his little cloaked friends come for a visit. Getting him to spill the beans is about as easy as getting Dudley to eat dessert.

Quite a tall (pun intended) tale Hagrid had to tell about his visit to the "Land of the Giants" with his girlfriend. I get the idea that the brain of a giant is disproportionate to its size. Not sure what an alliance with these big, dumb idiots will do for either side unless there's a spell to stop them killing each other. Giant-on-giant crime seems to be a real problem in remote mountain valleys.

But nothing, it seems, is too remote for the High Instigator not to shove her uninvited nose in to. I think Harry and friends should tie our fake-smiling friend up in the invisibility cloak after stealing her wand and casting a spell that ties her tongue in a knot. I assume there's some kind of chandelier in the Great Hall they could hang her from indefinitely. No one else would know she's there, and it can be their giant secret. Just don't tell Hagrid.

But I'm dreaming.

I supposed her highness will go on inquisiting and instigating against the D.A.

She's a mean one (kinda like the Grinch).

p.s. Anybody know where I can get a good dragon steak? Sounds like good eatin'.

Where's the justice?

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 19

Been gone 13 months
Just had to rest for a spell
The magic is back

The lesson for today, class, is that actions have consequences, but you can say whatever you please.

Belittle a fellow student with stupid little crowns on your chest. Embarrass him with a stupid song from the Quidditch stands. Hurl insults only a Malfoy could appreciate.

And the faculty is deaf the whole time?

Come on people. It's time to hold Slytherins accountable for their forked tongues. Or are y'all just afraid of Snape?

Not that I'm condoning violence, but no wonder Harry and George had to impress their feelings about the situation on Malfoy's spineless frame.

I support some level of punishment to fit the crime, but the lifetime ban Dolores handed down is as oversized as her fake smile. It's not like they're taking steroids.

This is just more support for the coup that must take place before Dolores turns Hogwarts into a daycare.

Getting a little fired up

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 17

Umbridge up to no good
She's a sneaky one that Dolores
How to make her stop

Has Dumbledore been locked in the dungeon? Where is he? A vanishing spell gone awry?

His students need him. Dolores is more than a spy for Fudge - she is staging a coup.

When she dissolved all extra-curriculars, I actually felt a twinge of anger. My emotional detachment to the story might be weakening. Make out of that statement whatever you want.

I think the Gryffs will get their Quidditch team back, but she wants them to sweat. She wants to show them who is in charge. As the High Instigator, she is off to a good start at stirring the cauldron.

Now the end of the chapter where she shows up in the Floo Network (aren't you impressed that I remember what it's called), was surprising. Is she reading the mail and maiming owls? Did she buy extendable ears from Fred and George? However she knew to find Sirius there proves she is quite dangerous to the cause.

In a class by themselves

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 16

You have to wonder what kind of trouble having an underground class is going to get these kids in to. I wonder if Umbridge's classroom is big enough to keep them all in detention at the same time. But maybe they will be able to keep it a secret from her royal highness The High Inquisitor.

You can't blame them for wanting  to learn how to defend themselves against dark arts. Knowing that V-Voldemort is out there and not knowing how to defend yourself is a vulnerable feeling, so I say good for them. What is tyranny if not something to fight against. One side will call it treason, the other will call it self-defense.

Give Hermione credit for knowing how to run a meeting. First, she picked an out-of-the-way place off of Umbridge's turf, which every good spy knows to do. Then, as soon as others got them off topic, she brought them back to the question of when and where to hold the class. They ought to meet at Hagrid's place. Umbridge won't have any surveillance cameras there. And Harry should break out that map that GPS tracks everybody during class time so they will know where Umbridge is at all times.

What they must be wary of is a snitch. Keeping the Slytherins away would be a good start.

The inquisition

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Chapter 15

Let's see, what other names can we come up with for Dolores The High Inquisitor.

The Big Buttinski.

The Officious Meddler.

The Annoying Mosquito.

The Unwelcome Intruder.

We could go on. And if you have any other suggestions, feel free to share them.

Her inquisition is sure to have some consequences and I assume is setting up another Dumbledore-Fudge confrontation. It's going to be like a team owner telling the coach who to cut or to play at quarterback. In the muggle world, the owner always wins. In the magical world, I'm betting on Dumbledore. He might let Fudge win an inconsequential battle, but Fudge, I hope, will be limited in what he can accomplish.

Yes, I suppose Dumbledore could lose his job, go underground and run the Order. Not sure whether staying in charge of Hogwarts is the best place to do battle against Voldemort.

I'm pretty sure more detention is not the best place for Harry to be right now, but at least he is standing up to Dolores. That takes the kind of guts that have been getting him out of all the scrapes he's had with Voldemort. Probably one of the big reasons Fudge and his lackeys don't believe Voldemort is back is because they can't believe Harry could actually be escaping these near-death experiences.

Harry's right though. He has had a lot of help getting out of jams. Still, his friends are correct in identifying the certain "it" factor he has in these situations. Some things you can't coach, and resourcefulness in a life-and-death situation is one of them. All he can do is give them some tools. And he probably should, because a little coaching just might save his life again some day.