Crack the books

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 6

Books. Of course, Dark Arts textbooks are the beginning of putting Harry, Ron and Hermione (she couldn't be happier than to have lots of books to lug around) on the trail of Horcruxes.

School, it seems, is back in session.

Sooner, rather than later, the three of them will leave the Burrow against Mrs. Weasley's wishes and begin their "Deathly Hallows" quest to rid the world of Voldemort and the hidden pieces of his soul for good. But first, there is a wedding to get ready for, books to sort through, rucksacks to pack and travel plans to make.

Planning has been difficult with Mrs. Weasley's obvious attempts at keeping them busy and apart from one another. But the plan is coming together.

Hermione will have to do some late-night reading to get caught up on Horcruxes. Harry will have to sort through his memories and figure out what spells will work best and leave behind his go-to tricks that the Death Eaters are wise to. As for Ron, I'm not sure what his job is besides running interference for his friends. Moral support, I suppose, is Ron's job. That and making sarcastic remarks.

Real school, of course, is over for these three. Hogwarts will apparently be open for business in the fall. Who will be the new Headmaster? No idea.

Ron and Hermione have their school absence cover stories ready. Ron is faking something called spattergroit by using a ghoul as a double. This is weird for even magical folk. A ghoul exists (not sure you can say lives) in his attic and Harry referred to it as their ghoul. The next time I think about sending my ghoul to Goodwill I'll remember that I might actually have a use for it some day. Weird.

Hermione's plan to send her Muggle parents on holiday sounds like something people would actually do. Not as inventive, but I think it will work.

Peeking ahead at chapter titles it appears we have two more chapters at the Burrow prepping and prepping and prepping for the wedding and the departure. I'll try to remain patient and be alert for clues.

Then the honeymoon will be over for everyone except, of course, Bill and Fluer.

 

Source: Wikimedia Commons

The Harry Potter read-along

Listen up friends.

If you want to start over reading the Harry Potter series, you can do so without even picking up a book. No, I don't mean by levitation. I mean with your ears.

And, no, it won't be me doing the audio book. There is a much better plan than that.

Surprise! We've got a treat for you…From today, amazing friends of the Wizarding World are going to take turns reading Harry Potter book one.

And to start us off with Chapter 1, we think you’ll agree we have the perfect narrator...⚡️ #HarryPotterAtHome
https://t.co/w9K77akbou pic.twitter.com/Q03PmjeD5d

— Wizarding World (@wizardingworld) May 5, 2020

Just go to WizardingWorld.com and listen. Daniel Radcliffe will get you started in "Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone" by reading "Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived." Others you probably know and love will follow one chapter at a time.

This will eat into some of my sports and writing podcast listening, but I plan to refresh my memory of a book I read 10 years ago.

Mind games

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 5

Before reading this chapter I had five questions. I answered some correctly, whiffed badly on one and one remains unknown.

Where did Voldemort vanish to and why? I was actually correct about this one. Harry passed safely through a magical force field meant to keep Death Eaters out.

Is Hagrid dead? Thankfully no. I just figured when he hit the earth that hard and the Richter scale probably registered about 5.4 that he didn't make it. Lots of padding I suppose.

Are any of The Seven Potters and their escorts dead? Because I assumed Hagrid didn't survive I figured the rest did. Sadly, Mad-Eye Moody is no longer with us. Maybe he'll meet up with his other eye some place.

Is Harry in a safe place? He is now. The old portkey trick to the Burrow worked. And everyone else except Mad-Eye, of course, and Mundungus are safely there if not all in one piece. Poor George and his missing ear. He and Fred will find a way to monetize it in their joke shop.

Who told Snape? That's still a mystery. Those at the Burrow are hot to find out though.

Now Harry, presumably in a safe place, wants to leave for the same reason he broke up with Ginny. Dumbledore's and now Mad-Eye's deaths have more than saddened him. He's blaming himself and he doesn't want another death (perhaps even his closest friends) on his conscience.

Harry is in a tough spot. He needs his friends for protection and help. But he doesn't want them to die while protecting and helping. The pain in his scar has increased his fear that something bad will happen.

The curious behavior of his wand is also troubling. He's thankful it happened, but why? There is a curious connection between his wand and Voldemort's wand. But of course, as Harry can surmise from his vision of Voldemort terrorizing Ollivander, the Dark Lord had chased him down with someone else's wand. We, of course, know it to be Lucius Malfoy's, and the vision revealed the same to Harry.

The mystery of Harry reading or hearing or seeing Voldemort's thoughts and actions has returned. Seems like Voldemort has let his guard down in his rage. Or something like that.

Hermione reminds Harry to keep his guard up to keep his mind free of Voldemort. Not sure this a two-way street though. My hunch is it seems like Voldemort would have more of an upper hand and wouldn't need spies if he could read Harry's mind.

But what do I know. I'm no mind reader.

Race against death

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 4

The Order of the Phoenix needs to strengthen its intelligence corps and plug its leaks.

The, "Oh, there's probably only a couple of Death Eaters around" was an intelligence failure. It was like Butch and Sundance trying to win a shootout against the entire Bolivian police force.

Hope is not a strategy. Hire a scout.

That doesn't mean The Seven Potters wasn't a good plan, but trying to outrun the enemy at the same time on brooms and a flying Harley lacked sense. Every part of the strategy should have been deceptive. If they had known a legion of Death Eaters was hiding in the clouds, they would have figured out a Plan B.

However, it was frantic reading. Once the Death Eaters appeared I found myself trying to read faster like when you move to the edge of your seat during tense movie scenes. So despite the failed plan, it was good reading.

The cliffhanger ending begs many questions.

Where did Voldemort vanish to and why?

Is Hagrid dead?

Are any of The Seven Potters and their escorts dead?

Is Harry in a safe place?

I figure Harry got to the safe place, which caused Voldemort to be thwarted by hitting some sort of force field.

Hagrid is probably and sadly dead. There is no one he'd rather give his life for more than Harry.

The others probably made it all out alive because the Death Eaters have worse aim than the Imperial troops in "Star Wars."

The intel that Yaxley got about Harry's movement being the day before his birthday was false. Snape was right.

That leaves us with another question: Who told him?

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 3

Talk about your long, awkward goodbyes. Did the Dursleys actually pull out of the driveway yet?

Good old Uncle Vernon just couldn't stand the thought of what he saw as taking orders from Harry (yes, I can mind-read fictional characters as far as you know). When he could stall no longer and Dudley showed fear, Vernon finally caved.

Awkward goodbyes are part of job interviews, TV show finales and first dates. But I did not expect that here. I thought it would be quick out the door, maybe a quick wave and that would be it.

The stunning moment of the scene was Dudley's surprise that Harry wasn't coming with. The second surprise was when Dudley expressed gratitude to Harry for saving his life. And I thought Petunia would break character, but she's learned not to show emotion living with Vernon. If emotional tears were ever going to flow on Privet Drive, this was the moment. But it came and went with the awkwardness of me, a right-hander, trying to throw left-handed.

The longest goodbye I can remember was performed by the Von Trapp Family Singers in "The Sound of Music." That wasn't awkward. It was tricky. The worst? Some would say the final episode of M*A*S*H.

Back to the Dursleys. In an odd way, and probably for Harry as well, I will miss them. They are a ridiculous lot, but they give us a reason to laugh in these dark days. So, off with you Dursleys. Hope your safehouse wherever it is will be acceptable, but I doubt it. Hope Voldemort doesn't find you. No one deserves to meet him.

When I saw the title of the chapter, my first thought was good riddance. I still kinda feel that way for the way they treated Harry. But I'll amend that first thought to good luck.

But that's it. No more long, awkward goodbyes.

Bye.

Fake news

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 2

Cleaning out the trunk after all these years. A sign that Harry's life has a new normal, or, more accurately, a new abnormal.

This is the time of life when Harry reflects on what has been. He knows what's coming, but it's good to reflect. However, it's never a good idea to read Rita Skeeter. I hope the Daily Prophet charged her for that puff piece on her upcoming unauthorized, sensationalized biography of Albus Dumbledore.

She's dug up all the dirt. More likely she's twisted facts, embellished and generally done everything imaginable to make it fly off the shelves.

I can just see Donald Trump in a news conference with Rita Skeeter.

Rita: Mr. President, why have you failed so far to stop Voldemort?
Trump: Failing? Who says we're failing? We're making progress. Tremendous progress.
Rita: Well, you haven't caught him yet.
Trump: Where are you from? The Daily Prophet? You know, your paper never tells the truth. You'll be out of business soon and no more fake news. I mean that. You'll be out of business soon. It will be beautiful.
Rita: Then, when do you expect to catch him?
Trump: Soon. Maybe as soon as tomorrow. We have great people working on it. Harry Potter is doing a great job. A great job. But your fake newspaper would never say that. Harry and his team are superb. They really are. Just superb.

Time to move forward, Harry. Get your team together, buckle up and begin the ascent.

I'm ready for the roller coaster.

A peek behind enemy lines

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Chapter 1

Snape on the first page and Voldemort in the first chapter. Of course, this book had to begin that way. We want to know what the bad guys are scheming.

They sit around the table reporting to Voldemort like spies to an intelligence chief. At first, all but Snape seem afraid. Clearly Voldemort is controlling his minions with fear. After what he did to Draco Malfoy in "Half-Blood Prince," it seems likely that fear is why most people sit at this table.

We have conflicting reports from Snape and some bloke named Yaxley about when and where Voldemort can snatch and kill Harry as he is moved to an Order safehouse. And it seems there are plans for a coup against the ministry that Yaxley is leading. But those are just plans ... for now.

Lucius Malfoy is out of Azkaban, but now he and wife and son seem to be prisoners in their own home. Threats have obviously been made, and they would rather be doing this over Zoom. Bellatrix, however, is enjoying the party a little too much.

Voldemort doesn't miss a chance to remind them of their mission to purify their race. Of course, he ain't exactly pure. Apparently, Voldemort has risen above such adversity that only he (and anyone else he chooses to make exception for) has the ability to rise above. One thing that's not in his blood is humility. The narcissism pushed it all out if there ever was any.

We are introduced to another Hogwarts teacher, Charity Burbage. Voldemort, the offspring of a mixed union, is no doubt particularly unhappy with Burbage promoting the existence of Muggles. Was she teaching that class in Tom Riddle's days at Hogwarts? He must have hated her and that class.

Like all of us I've been washing my hands more lately. After this chapter, I suddenly feel compelled to wash them again.